Ah, the first date. Trying to impress without coming on too strong, trying to compliment without being creepy, trying to just not be awkward… it’s a tough world out there. Dating presents a quagmire of do’s and don’t’s that would have anyone’s head spinning.
From fine dining to a simple smile, we show you how to win over your date. No need to thank us when you score the second one.
Don’t get ahead of yourself
Sure, get excited, but don’t start looking at a wedding venue. It may sound pessimistic, but if your expectations are low then a good date will come as a surprise and a bad date will be no biggie. Ya’ll need to just stay realistic.
Call a friend
First-date jitters are the worst, and you can often get yourself all flustered thinking about how you need to act. Ring a friend for a few words of encouragement before you meet your date – a few positive words can make you walk into your date with confidence.
Slight stalking
Do hop on to Facebook and check out what he’s like and who he’s friends with – you might even end up sharing a few mutual friends, which can be a great point of conversation. Don’t ask him how his Auntie Barbs’ getaway was in 2010. #Stalkedtoofar.
LOL
Seems obvious, but in the thick of date nervousness a laugh is often left by the wayside. Laugh at your date’s jokes (even if they are appalling) and be the first to laugh in a group, it’s an attractive quality. Cute private jokes create a bond between you, taking away the stress of the first date and making you seem like long-time lovers.
Close contact
There’s something to be said for lingering gazes in communicating you’re into someone. Let your eyes stay glued to his a little longer than necessary – especially during silences. Induce the ‘fight or flight’ chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation. Drag your eyes away slowly and reluctantly to let your date know you find them fascinating.
Dress to impress
Even for a casual liaison, dressing like an unmade bed is not attractive. Make sure your outfit is clean and co-ordinated. Dress alluringly but don’t look cheap, there’s nothing wrong with making the most of your assets coyly. Also, DO wear sexy underwear! Even if you don’t shed your clothes, your non-Bridget Jones’ underwear will give you a confidence boost.
Eat like a normal person
Don’t order a garden salad then eat half of it. He’s not going to think you’re being all hot and skinny. He’s going to think you have some weird food issues. Don’t starve yourself! Just eat like you normally would!
Smile like you mean it
A simple action that reaps great rewards is just to smile. The most effective form of body language, a soft smile is saucy and seductive. A quick smile can come across as contrived, so just let a slow one float over your face.
Questionable
Asking questions is always advised to get your date talking, but ladies be wary about asking a man too much about his feelings straight up. Wait till things are on stable ground or you might find he goes running into the night as you’re too touchy feely.
Fine dining
If you’re planning to pick up the bill and want to pick somewhere flashy, make sure the atmosphere of the restaurant fits with the image you’re trying to project. Elegant, upbeat, cool or arty are winners, while sterile, quiet or pretentious are not general recommendations. Atmosphere is important because your date will be inclined to transfer their feelings about the room to you.
Butterfly effect
When planning a date, find out what pushes your date’s buttons. On a date we’re looking to provoke a physical response. This doesn’t mean you have to go sky-diving, a scary movie will suffice, we just want to get some butterflies flapping their wings. Dinner or a drink to debrief your experience after is a must.
Mirror mirror
Shared convictions bond two people strongly, so if you agree with what he is saying show it deeply. Mirroring your date’s responses with emotions – shock, humour, compassion – is important for showing you read and understand the situation on common ground.
Tell him/her about yourself
Don’t just ask your date questions the whole night. Tell him or her some funny stories, joke around and just be yourself. No matter how hot you look, what will really want to make him/her go out again is remembering how fun it is to hang out with you.
