IVF is unique to every person and couple. There are many fertility treatments available ranging from the very simple to the more complex.
Your fertility specialist will be able to determine which treatment is best for you. Likewise, the emotional and mental resilience that surrounds the journey will be an individual experience. We have highly skilled counsellors who can guide and support you through this journey.
IVF And Mental Health
A lot of emotions enter the equation when a couple begins IVF treatment. Indeed, it can be an true roller coaster.
By the time a couple sees a fertility specialist, it’s likely they have been trying to conceive naturally for quite some time. Other times, they may have had illnesses such as cancer. So, they might have their frozen eggs, sperm, or embryos until they were ready to become parents. No matter what the scenario, the emotions can run the gamut.
Thankfully, science can step in. In most cases we can help couples start or extend their family with minimum mental stress. However, this is not always the case. Of course, there will be some couples for whom IVF simply isn’t successful. Accordingly, their mental health journey is particularly difficult. Others simply might not feel the anticipation for the joy of what is to come. Instead, they experience anxiety and fear for the process ahead.
Therefore, it’s so important to empower yourself with a top team of medical experts – including a therapist or counsellor – throughout your journey.
How IVF Might Affect Your Mental And Emotional Health
Many IVF treatments involve injecting yourself with hormones, which can wreak havoc on emotions, too. This is also where counselling comes into play. Your IVF doctor will guide you in the direction of a counsellor best suited to your situation. Your chosen counsellor can support you through this journey. They will give you strategies to cope with the emotions you’ll be feeling.
Remember, if your IVF attempts are unsuccessful on the first, second, third or even eight round – it is not your fault. It is a common occurrence. As a matter of fact, many people struggle through several failed pregnancies before they achieve their dream of a healthy, happy baby.
Keeping Your Relationship Healthy During The IVF Process
One of the worst parts of certain fertility treatments is the timed sexual intercourse. It can be very straining on your relationship. Try to spice things up in the bedroom to avoid sex becoming clinical and robotic. Rather, make it enticing and fun. Think of the lovely bundle of joy you are trying to create.
Of course, we also have treatments where we fertilise the egg outside of the body. Theses don’t involve sexual activity. This too can take a mental toll, so be sure to speak to your counsellor about this if need be.
In particular, if you are embarking on the journey solo, you’ll also need a great support group and good counsellor.
Now, bear in mind that the likelihood of miscarriage is ever-present, whether you’re undergoing IVF or not. In fact, one in five pregnancies in Australia end in miscarriage. I cannot stress enough that this is not your fault.
Your partner is also going through this journey and will be as sad and traumatised as you. It’s important you go to counselling together. Be there for each other and when necessary, seek out counselling.
Emotions Couples Can Expect To Feel
When couples start out with IVF, typically they are very hopeful. They think, “I am going to get pregnant and it will be great!” Anxiety then tends to follow, mainly around the injections. Questions arise such as “am I doing it properly”?
Then there is often a fear of needles, and many women also worry about the side effects. In most cases these are only bloating and fatigue.
Another common side effect is feeling tired. Though, women do feel very emotional. It really can be very much an emotional roller coaster. There is also the anxiety about if their eggs are OK, especially if they are a little older. Understandably then, they also worry if they will have any eggs left at all.
Because the woman does the actual IVF, the man can feel left out of the whole treatment protocol. We encourage men to come along to all the appointments, to get involved with the injections as much as possible, even administer the injections to their partner themselves so it is a true couple’s journey.
Or, if the fertility issues are a male factor issue, which is the case 50 percent of the time, they’ll experience feelings of guilt. They might feel as though they are not virile enough or not deserving to be a parent. Both partners in the relationship might also experience fears that their partner may leave them for someone more virile or fertile.
When pregnancy doesn’t take
This comes with huge grief for couples. There is a lot of grief around not getting pregnant. Oftentimes they think, “I am never going to be a parent, that is for other people.” There is also grief for the loss of the child and what could have been. The feelings of failure come back in again. People start thinking they did things wrong. “if I only I didn’t do this or that.” This is not the case at all. Nobody is to blame. It is just the case that failed pregnancies simply happen at times.
It is really important to give couples a realistic percentage of what the true chances are of getting pregnant. We do our best to give them this this at their very first appointment. Some might go in thinking it will happen first time. However, women who are over 40 will obviously have less chance than a woman who is 35.
Obviously the younger you start trying to get pregnant, the better your chances are. So, it is important to be realistic. Gather as much information as possible. The more empowered you are, the less likely you are to experience fear and anxiety around the entire process.
