The right attitude to beauty and understanding it objectively can help you face each day confidently and positively.
The concept of beauty is undefined; it varies among cultures and societies and even through the decades. However, the way you carry yourself will arguably always affect how others perceive you.
As the saying goes, if you look good, you feel good. But the reverse is also true as confidence and inner beauty do show on the outside. Confidence is thought to be one of the most attractive qualities and can be even more intoxicating than physical beauty alone. Together, it’s a tough combination to beat.
Many people have found someone physically attractive, even though they were not conventionally ‘good looking’. Somehow their personality, charm, confidence, goodness, wit or energy seem to shine through. It may take inner beauty longer to make an impact than a first impression, but it is what goes the distance and can be present at any age.
Confidence
Confidence is about self-respect and self-understanding. How you perceive yourself will ultimately affect how others perceive you.
Consider the ubiquitous ‘Best Celebrity Body’ surveys. Although the Hollywood ideal seems to be stick thin, names such as Beyoncé, Khloe Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson, regularly make the list. These celebrities are admired by many women for their voluptuous curves, but a large part of their appeal is due to their confidence
in their bodies and how they carry themselves.
Recognising the power of the positive, an increasing number of people are turning to cosmetic procedures to enhance appearance and boost confidence – whether this be a minor tweak or a major procedure. Advances in technology have revolutionised the field of cosmetic surgery and made it part of mainstream medicine. It’s no longer reserved for the rich and famous, but now available to anyone who wants to wishes to utilise it.
Additionally, in the past 20 years or so, advancements in the cosmetic and aesthetic industry have created a highly popular, less permanent breed of cosmetic enhancement for those of us who aren’t ready to go ‘under the knife’. Non-surgical alternatives to facial rejuvenation are being requested more and more, so much so that they are becoming regular treatments for many women and men, alongside facials and other mainstream beauty treatments.
A study at Queensland’s Griffith University examined the emotional impact of cosmetic surgery on patients and their families. It found the emotional experience of cosmetic surgery was largely a beneficial one, after which many patients indicated they would undergo the same procedure again if necessary. They said they enjoyed significant positive psychological outcomes, including growth of self-esteem and confidence.
Motivation
Understanding the ‘why’ behind your decision to undergo cosmetic enhancement is a critical step towards receiving the results you are looking for. Melbourne body image researcher and clinician Roberta Honigman says talking to someone about your motivations will help both pinpoint your reasons for seeking cosmetic enhancement and manage your expectations of the results.
“You’re actually helping yourself by understanding what it is you are seeking and why, as that’s the key to happiness in this field,” Honigman says.
“It’s important to be honest with yourself in terms of what you hope to achieve. ‘If I go through this, I expect to look like somebody who is going to find a new relationship’, or ‘my looks are going to help me get a new job’, or ‘my looks are going to allow me to reconnect with an aspect of my life that I’ve let go of’,” she explains. “That is the key to a treatment’s success.”
One of the most disconcerting experiences of ageing is the disconnect that occurs between feeling young and vibrant on the inside and the physical effects of getting older on the outside. As a result, one of the most common motives for undergoing facial rejuvenation is the desire to bridge this divide by minimising the signs of ageing.
In line with this attitude is the tendency for some young people to express their perfectionism through cosmetic enhancement procedures, particularly through non-surgical enhancements. This kind of motive can cause both young and older people to lose sight of their inner self, and to define themselves according to their appearance.
“People have to be prepared to take responsibility for their own bodies and their own lives. That’s why they must understand the motivation driving them to seek a change before they do anything,” Honigman says. “Starting out with realistic expectations of what is possible is the key to being happy with the result.”
Happiness
Beauty alone is no guarantee of happiness. Leslie Zebrowith, professor of Psychology at the Brandies University, conducted a personality test on a number of men and women and found that beautiful people with ugly personality traits looked less and less attractive with the passage of time. Through her research, she concluded that women who were gregarious and vivacious in their teens, looked more beautiful to men even in their 50s – more than their aloof, unfriendly but more beautiful peers.
What the study encapsulates is the notion that being attractive might make you happy, but being happy means you make yourself more attractive.
The physical beauty of a woman is only a small portion of her overall beauty, and this portion wanes. Internal beauty includes manners, behaviour, intelligence, sense of humour, compassion and family or personal values, which are intrinsic and lasting personality traits.
So in a nutshell, beauty may be a fascinating or illusive gift for the bearer, but it may not make he or she happy. Having the self-esteem and confidence to be happy in your own skin may just be the guarantee for beauty.
Get happy
Professor Timothy Sharp of The Happiness Institute tells us how positivity and happiness can help us lose weight.
It’s a new year and, along with millions of other people, you’re determined to drop a few kilos or a couple of dress sizes. But if you’ve tried traditional diets with minimal or no success, you might be interested in a new approach based on the science of positive psychology.
Whereas most diets propose that if you lose weight then you’ll be happy, The Happiness Diet proposes that if you get happy first then you’ll lose weight. It’s all about putting positivity first; creating the motivation and energy to do what you need to do and achieve your goals.
So how do you get happier for a brighter, slimmer, less stressed life? Here are some tips to harness the power of positivity for inspiration and change.
1. Imagine a positive vision of the future – one in which you’re living a great, fulfilling, active and flourishing life
2. Imagine you at your best living this great life
3. Start living this life now by planning positive and inspiring activities right now
4. Also plan activities that require a degree of effort and mastery
5. Be mindful about what you say to yourself – try to develop a more optimistic thinking style
6. Build confidence by trying new activities
7. Focus more on strengths and stop trying to fix weaknesses
8. Find ways to think positively about healthy eating and activity
9. Build positive and supportive relationships by enlisting the support of family and friends
10. Build positivity by practising appreciation and gratitude
